


Immortal

by SoundTheStereo



Category: The Creatures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:08:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 16,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1381855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoundTheStereo/pseuds/SoundTheStereo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I hadn't expected much, that trip out west. My friends would roll around in the sand and sun, shop until they were too broke to live and find every guy that was bound to look their way. i would follow. Carrying the bags, paying the rent and keep watch as they conquered those poor men under their beautiful exterior. It was a summer I was partially excited for. To get away was a miracle. To be with Laura and Brittney was a blessing. But to live the nights alone and too good to say anything, would be a nightmare</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rich parents drive the lives of my friends. Middle class and responsible drove mine. Laura's parents have a summer house in California. Right smack dab in the middle of LA's high life full of D-list celebrities and twenty-something's living off dead parents or those wanting to separate themselves from the brats of tomorrow.

My mother hated how spoiled I was when with Laura and Brittney's families. Vacations, parties, even the services of their daily life. Never once had I wished for what they have. The service and fancy things were nice but the awful relationships and respect my friends had for others was something I just couldn't live without. These girls were my best friends though, the best friends a girl in her teens could really ever ask for. I'm not pretty like them though. Laura and Brittney were blonde and petite, I was brunette and overweight. 

I was never judged or tormented for looking the way I did. I dressed for my size, never too girly or too tom boyish. I was considered "popular" in high school and happily received attention from boys as my friends who were like brothers. I was happy with it all, being helpful when needed and them wanting me around even though I never understood why. Maybe I was the part that kept them humble.

Laura and Brittney were the girls who always had boyfriends. I was the girl who always helped boys with their girlfriends. The friend who helped my girlfriends with their boyfriends because I was better friends with their boyfriends then they were in their relationships. I honestly don't care. I like to help. I just wished, for once, I didn't have to deal or see others relationships and just have my own.


	2. Chapter 2

This was the summer after our senior year of high school. Freshly graduated and out for our last hurrah before college. Brittney had been accepted to a small college in New York. She had always dreamed of moving to the city from our little town in Michigan, pursuing her talent for art and acting. She was an incredible singer. Laura, however, was skipping college completely and would begin working for her father. Benjamin Heading, owner of over 200 concert venues across the United States. Laura was inheriting her own venue in Chicago. With a heart for business and a love for music, Laura couldn't see herself doing anything else. My friends were starting their dreams right out of high school. For me? There were too many things I wanted to do. Live my life of music, live my life for animals, and live my life for helping and traveling. I wanted everything but no one lifetime could really accomplish that. After this summer I would stay home and go to our community college to figure out exactly what I wanted. In all honesty, I'd hoped this vacation could help me decide. 

Because there was no need for an open house my family and friends gave me my money for college as a way to pay for California. The housing was all sorted but the groceries, luxuries and the few utilities would need to be paid for. The day we left our families gathered at the airport. Both Laura and Brittney's parents told me to make sure these small payments were being paid. Graciously, I knew and understood. On the plane my friends were none the wiser, not knowing how truly irresponsible their parents knew of them to be. I believe if their parents would have just confronted them of their horribleness, they would change. But I guess I could have done that too. Just like I do, the plane ride was spent staring out the window with my music so loud Brittney could hear it next to me. I didn't care to hear of their slutty advantages or new outfits. Our ride to the summer home from the airport was a limo.

"Wow Laura, your parents aren't holding anything back are they?" I commented. Laura flashed her award winning smile.   
"This might be our summer home, but we still have a few luxuries"

Those luxuries came with a driver, a chief and a maid. What an easy summer for me this will be.

The summer home, as I figured, was a mansion among mansions. The parking way led straight to the marble archway of the front door. Inside, the two story mansion was connected by a spiral staircase right in the middle of the foyer. The living room was to our right, a giant walk-in closet for coats and shoes stood to our left. Following through the living room, where we dumped our stuff, we entered the kitchen, complete with a dining room and sun room. Supplies with expensive appliances and cookware there was a door that left to the backyard. A pool the size of my house at home made with a small waterfall connecting the grassy area of the yard. 

"Why have we never been here?!" Brittney asked, excited yet a bit jealous.  
"It's been awhile since we've been out here" Laura admitted.   
"Summers got really busy for my father and we had some work done here. But it's all set and we are here now! Let me show you girls our rooms!"


	3. Chapter 3

The maid had grabbed our shoes and coats while we took our luggage upstairs. I had only a carry on and a suitcase, my friends had enough for a family of six. The upstairs was just as impressive as the downstairs. A little sun room greeted us as a long hallway opened our eyes to what seemed like more doors we could count.

"Alright, let me give you girls a little tour"

Laura opened the first door on her left; we both knew it was her room. Laced with pink on pink on pink, she left her door open with her suitcases outside

"Gloria will get those, she's kind of amazing"

We walked across the hall to a guest room

"Lindsay, this shall be your room! It's our first guest room and sort of plain, but I know you won't mind"  
I smiled and nodded,  
"I honestly don't!" 

I threw my backpack and suitcase onto the bed and followed them to Brittney's room

"You shall be sleeping next door to me. This is my older sister's room; she doesn't mind you staying in it"

Light blue and nature described Laura's sister Sarah perfectly. Her room was decorated with animals and pictures trips to zoos and far off lands, to places I wish to go and see.

"This is perfect" Brittney smiled, gazing at all the things there were to see.  
"Come on, we've got some more room to checkout!"

We roamed down the hall, the room next to mine, the master bedroom. Next to Brittney was the bathroom, next to the bathroom was her younger brother's room. Across from that was a living room type area with all the latest movies, video games and consoles. Laura put her arm out in front of me

"Don't get too excited Lindsay, but my brother and parents have given you free will to play with whatever you want in here"

I smiled and tried my hardest not to jump. I grew up with two older brothers and a younger brother. We were the gamers of the town. Too poor for new things but with what we had, we played always.

"Oh my god...I'm in heaven" I whispered. Brittney rolled her eyes  
"You are such a nerd" I pushed her slightly   
"Hey, these are some good games and systems here. This room is the best pick-up line for you two to get some boys I'll even like here"

They both laughed and we moved on. At the end of the hall Laura stood in front of the last door. Her arms held across her chest like she was about to walk down the aisle. She cleared her throat and raised her chin

"Ladies and ladies, for our final room on this tour, I have saved the best for last"

Brittney and I looked at each other in suspense, excited and curious as to how this place could get any better. Laura reached for the knob,

"Please, hold your applause till the end" and we followed her into the magical door. 

Behind the door, there was a recording studio. Knowing what her dad does, it shouldn't have been hard for us to guess they'd have a studio somewhere in their family houses but Brittney and I were too excited all the same. I sort of screamed. Along the high walls records of all gold, silver, and platinum with every artist under the sun shown bright in our eyes. Guitars of ever size and color, acoustic and electric both with amps and without. Drums and sets, microphones and keyboards. This was the place musicians dreamed about. The back of the room held a sound booth and a sound board the size of the limo that brought us.

"So much space" I gasped, "so many activities"   
Brittney's mouth was gaped open,  
"I'm going to be the star at Terra Academy. I can practice so much this summer!"   
"And I'll help!" I raised my hand.  
Laura grabbed us both into a hug  
"This will truly be an amazing summer. We've got everything we all could want here. I'm so happy. 

I smiled at my friends. My doubt for this summer had faded in seconds


	4. Chapter 4

We spent the next few hours unpacking, eating, and listening to music louder than our parents would ever let us. Of course the girls wanted to go out. They couldn't go a day without the comfort of a boy. Luckily for me, my love for video games and guitars was enough to accept the fact I wanted to stay home. That night I spent with the maid. Making junk food, playing guitar and singing with her. She even joined me in a game of Mario Party for the good ole Nintendo 64. 

"Gloria, you are the absolute coolest" I told her as we rounded the last few rounds of our game. She smiled at me,  
"It helps to have amazing bosses" I gave her a sideways glance   
"Boss? Uh, that's weird to hear"

We ended our gaming session and Gloria left me. I found another game that left me occupied until my friends drunkenly walked upstairs. I could hear them from down the hall

"Liiiinnnnnnnnddddssssaaaayyyyy!" Laura yelled, giggling alongside Brittney. I could hear their footsteps dragging.  
"Let me take on guess where she is" Brittney stammered, running into the lounge area I was in  
"Ah ha!" she yelled, falling onto the couch laughing. Laura bombarded me from the other side  
"Lindsay..." she swayed, the alcohol heavy on her breath. I paused my game and forced a smile,  
"I see you two had a good time" Brittney crawled to me giggling, patting my hand  
"You NEED to come with us next time"  
"Yeah girl, we found this AMAZING club that lets us in and boys to buy us booze" Laura added. I lifted my eyebrows.   
"Oh really? I'm sad I didn't get to meet these fellas" Brittney rolled her head in my lap and closed her eyes   
"It was great. We wanna go out tomorrow" the same sour look made its way to my face. Laura slapped me  
"No, none of that. You have to come with us. It's glorious and you'll love it" I moved her hand away from my face  
"We just got here today, don't I get a few days of being nerdy and fat and lazy?" Brittney snorted from laughing and Laura petted my cheek  
"Just come with us once, please. We want to share these experiences with you" Brittney nodded against my leg, her eyes still closed. I smiled at Laura. Her drunken glazed eyes stared into mine, determined and sleepy.  
"Okay you two, let's get to bed. I'll go out with you tomorrow"   
"Yay!" Laura slurred and Brittney mumbled. 

I helped my friends off the couch and took them to bed. Honestly, I'd hoped they'd forget even telling me about the club in the morning. Boy was I wrong.


	5. Chapter 5

The following morning I was awoken, bright and early, by the hung over fucks.

Brittney snuck in on my right, Laura on my left  
"Good morning you beautiful piece of shit!" Laura yelled. I jumped up and smacked them both  
"What the hell you two?! Aren't you hung over?" They both nodded, yet still continued to yell  
"We know one way to stop being hung over" Brittney stated, "Drink more!" they exclaimed together. I rolled my eyes and laid back down, taking shelter under my covers.  
"Lindsay" Laura demanded, grabbing at my blanket, "You said you'd join us tonight" I sighed,  
"Yes, tonight, not 8 in the morning" they rolled off and I took the chance to look out.   
"You know, the more sleep I get, the more we can be out tonight" they both gave me their 'we know bullshit' look but they left me alone.

Of course once they left me I couldn't fall back to sleep. I was ready to spend my days with my friends and my nights along, with MY favorite activities, not theirs. I wasn't ready to be left alone; I wasn't ready to feel disgusting among my pretty friends. I laid in my bed for another few hours, tossing and turning before I got up, turned my heavy metal music on as loud as I could and stared desperately into the mirror

"I hate this" I whispered to myself, twisting and turning my body around in the mirror. My reflection looked desperately back at me  
"You and me both" we said to each other. 

I grabbed my suitcase I never unpacked and dumped my clothes onto the bed. The only clothes I had that I felt comfortable in and people consider "cute" was my jeans, a shirt no one knew about, a homemade knit hat and my zip up hoodie. California was too hot for such attire. Plus, we were going to a club. i grabbed these articles of clothing and separated them, staring at each piece individually. The bass from my music made my ears bounce as I tried to imagine how tonight would play out.   
Obviously, Brittney and Laura would dress hot as possible. They would go out, dance together, find some guys to dance with, have them buy them drinks, get wasted, dance some more, possibly make-out or bring said boy or another boy home, I'd babysit and then the night would be over. While my friends played their game, what would I be doing? We'd get there, get lost among the crowd, I'd sit at the bar, drinking water and on my phone. They'd find me when they were ready to leave, and that'd be it. My outfit would work fine. Good. I threw my clothes back in my suitcase and left my clothes for tonight out. Now that all of that was settled, I showered, changed into those clothes, then laid back down in my bed and watched YouTube videos that made me happy when no one else could. 

The next thing I knew, Gloria was shaking my awake. I shot up, my hat falling off my head and looked at her with sleepy eyes. My room was pitch black

"What time is it?" I asked anxiously  
"Almost 8 o'clock" she whispered, turning on the lamp by the bedside table  
"We plan on leaving in about 15 minutes" Laura said from the door. Her hair was curled right to her head, a tight black dress that aligned every inch of her perfectly skinned self. Brittney looked exactly the same, expect her dress was red  
"I'll be ready" I told them, rubbing my eyes. Neither of my friends said a word. I heard them leave by the clops of their heels. I sighed. Gloria looked at me  
"Are you going to be okay?" she asked me, picking up my towels. I nodded, getting out of bed. 

I messed with my hair a bit until my bangs waved over my right eye. I put the multicolored hat on the back of my head as to let my hair show. My converse shoes were black and white. I straightened my band tee and my hoodie. I looked like a scene kid, and I was perfectly happy with that. 

"You look really good in those" Gloria told me. I smiled at her through the mirror  
"No one's ever complimented my like that before. Thanks." Gloria came up behind me and patted my shoulders  
"You're a beautiful girl. Don't you ever forget that" I smiled and nodded. 

She smiled back and left. I was along again and left to stare at myself. My double chin, and my amazing legs; my gut peering over my jeans, and my back fat repulsing. All of these flaws weren't the most noticeable things, but they were to me. I splashed some perfume on, grabbed my phone and headphones and walked downstairs. I hadn't eaten all day but that was a good thing in my eyes. I didn't need the extra calories. The front door opened with Laura and Brittney putting their coats on next to it

"It's kind of cold out" Gloria told us.  
"You ready?!" Laura smiled at me, I nodded. The limo was parked out front. The girl rushed out the door, I followed slowly behind.   
"Be safe, have fun" Gloria told us. I waved her off and followed my friends into the limo. Brittney and Laura talked in fast breaths, exciting for their night ahead.

I stared out the window at the lit city. It was beautiful sight.


	6. Chapter 6

The club was an 18+ place that served alcohol to the older brothers and sisters, butlers and maids having to take these awful kids out. The line was the length of the building, curving around to an alleyway. I stood shivering next to my friends as the line moved an inch per house, or at least it felt that way. 

"Gahh, this is so inconvenient" Laura cried, shivering herself. Brittney nodded as she danced a bit in her heels  
"My legs are going to fall off. This is ridiculous." I looked at my phone. 8:15. I grabbed my headphones and turned on my music. My friend's words were silenced by the sound of better things. Laura didn't smack me for attention until we were a few people till the entrance. I took my headphones out

"We there yet?" I asked, pocketing my things. Laura glared at me.  
"Do you have your ID ready?" Brittney asked. I nodded. The bouncer at the door was your stereotypical big black man with an intimidating face. His smile for the pretty girl's even looked forced. We walked up to him, Brittney and Laura silently smiled and waved their IDs, I sort of cringed

"Hey, I'm the ugly friend here to make sure my pretty friends don't get too fucked up." The bouncer genuinely smiled at me,  
"You're not ugly and a good friend makes you even more beautiful" my stomach twisted, feeling guilty but at the same time honored  
"Well thanks" I smiled  
"Be safe" he told me, pushing me in. 

The club wasn't anything special. No bigger than a barn party I'd been to before. It was covered by a glowing dance floor with lights changing every few minutes. The place wasn't filled to the brink but it was pretty crowed. Immediately I was separated from my friends and saw from the door a perfect spot at the bar. I pushed through the crowd of teens and awkwardly older people, dancing and sweating to the normal club bass. The bartender was a beautiful blonde girl, I sat in the chair closest to the wall, a spiny one that allowed me to lean against the wall and watch the crowd. The bartender walked over to me and set down a white napkin. 

"You look like you could use a drink" she told me. I smiled and shrugged,  
"Just water for me. Though I am a babysitter tonight I'm only 18" the girl smiled at me and handed me a glass.   
"One drink never hurts anyone" she filled my cup with water,  
"If you need anything, just let me know" I watched her walk away and word with other customers.

Despite sitting at a crowed place, alone and in a dark corner. I actually felt okay. I took out my phone and untangled my headphones. The music was too loud for me to enjoy my own but maybe this place had Wi-Fi and I could watch some videos. I barely finished untangling my headphones when a guy took the seat next to mine. Before he sat down he looked tall, skinny beyond all hell and was wearing a hat similar to mine. His hair long, falling just past his ears with the slight flip my own bands did. He was wearing tight jeans and a slightly baggy t-shirt. The bartender came over

"What can I get you sweetheart?"  
"I just need a jack and coke" he told her, a slight annoyance in his voice. The bartender smiled anyway  
"I'll get that right up for ya." 

I took a drink of my water, watching this kid flip his napkin around. His voice seemed to match how I was feeling. Maybe we were in a similar predicament. The bartender gave him his drink then turned to me

"You need anything else?" she asked me, the kid looked at me. We caught a glance but I immediately turned away  
"Uh, no thanks...I'm...uh, I'm good. Thank you" I stuttered. She smiled, nodded, and walked away. 

I glued myself right to my phone. I even turned my chair back towards the bar. No matter how much I wanted conversation I couldn't make it happen on my own. To my surprise, the kid sat there drank his drink slowly


	7. Chapter 7

"Was he alone?" I thought. 

I tried my best to catch a glance but I felt like he was staring, though I knew he wouldn't be. I put my hand to my face so he couldn't notice my chin, the bane of my existence. I put my headphones away and tried to scan the crowd. I didn't have to pretend I was looking for Brittney and Laura; I had to pretend I wasn't trying to stare at the kid next to me

"The Stars Beyond You" I looked at the kid and cleared my throat  
"Excuse me?" he smiled and gestured with his finger towards me  
"The Stars Beyond You, your shirt. I love that band" I looked down at myself and saw the TSBY logo across my chest, my hoodie only zipped part way. I looked at him again and didn't say anything.

"Where'd you get it? They don't have much merch on their site" I swallowed and pinched myself, urging myself to breathe.   
"My friend, her dad owns a couple concert venues around my hometown. We say them and got some shirts." The kid turned his chair completely towards me, I slightly did the same.   
"I've seen them a few times live. Never really thought to look at their merch table" he laughed. I smiled. 

*Cutest laugh* I thought to myself

"Well, like I said, my friend's dad was the owner so we were able to chill out for a bit after the whole, concert rush after the show thing so it was at an easier access" he nodded at me, seemingly intrigued.   
"That's so cool. Are they as sick as their music?" I nodded again and he nodded back, no words needed. 

I took a drink and silence feel again. He finished his drink and ordered another. Now that conversation was introduced it was much easier for me.

"I see you're over 21" he smiled down at the bar and looked at me  
"Obvious?" the lights coming from the club floor and walls allowed me to see him a but better. Brown eyes, a skinny face just like his body, a warm smile and a sleeve of tattoos on his right forearm. I nodded  
"You know, unless you have a fake ID or something. That's sort of more believable here at an 18+ club." He turned his back to me and checked the crowd, turning back the opposite way he started,   
"My step-brother, over by the stairs" I looked toward the stairs,  
"The blonde kid with the green shirt, he's here with a few of his friends" we both turned back to the bar  
"I'm being a good brother and "chaperoning" for our parents" he looked at me, then my water  
"You 18?" I nodded  
"Just turned a few months ago as well as graduated high school" his eye widened with polite surprise, his kindness gleaming through his facial expressions  
"Quite an exciting few months" 

I nodded and caught a glimpse of Laura. She had a guy on her right arm and an empty drink in her left hand. I tried my best to hide myself but with her empty drink, she easily found me. 

"Lindsay!" she screamed, the alcohol already so thick on her breath. She tried to hug me but fell on top of my lap, slightly hitting my somewhat new friend.  
"I'm sorry" I mouthed to him, he just waved it off  
"Oh, I'm sorry" Laura laughed, hopelessly helping herself up. She noticed the kid on the stool. Her face lit up with glee  
"Ooo, hello! You're cute" she told him. My face blushed red and the lights in the club suddenly seemed to get lighter. The kid politely smiled at her,  
"Hello and thank you, you are cute yourself" she giggled and backed into me, slumping against my lap, purposely forgetting my existence. She reached out her hand,   
"I'm Laura! Nice to meet you" he grabbed her hand  
"Aleks, but don't be fooled, my name ends with a ks instead of an x"

Laura flipped her hair and I about kicked her away from me  
"Oh, how interesting! Why is that?" Aleks sat up in his chair a bit  
"I was born in Russia, adopted here to the U.S. Sadly lost my accent but I still speak fluently"  
"Can you give me a small lesson? Tell me something in Russian!" I barely saw Aleks from behind Laura. He cleared his throat  
"Zdrastvuyte Laura, menya zovut Aleks, I ya dumayu, chto vash drug Lindsay ochen' krasivaya" I heard my name and knew Laura felt me perk up. 

She pretended not to nice and continued to drunkenly smile   
"What did you say?" Aleks messed with his hair and turned to his drink, he took a sip and we watched him blush. The guy I had seen Laura with came to us, a fresh drink in his hand  
"Here babe" he told her. Tall, tan and lean with brown hair and blues eyes. Gorgeous as all ever he looked down at me for all the obvious reasons. Laura grabbed her drink and pressed Aleks' shoulder  
"I'm anxious, tell me what you said" the guy looked at Aleks angrily, squaring the skinny guy to his "golden" stature. Aleks leaned closer to the bar and caught my eye  
"I said, "Hello Laura, my name is Aleks, I think your friend Lindsay is very pretty." That's what I said" and he leaned back in his chair. 

My heart stopped and Laura jolted against me  
"Oh. How lovely" she sneered. Laura moved away from me, grabbed "her" man and walked off without a word. I felt like I was going to throw up. Nobody as really ever told me I was pretty. Especially not a boy who I thought was cute. My luck was never this good

"Thanks for that" I told him, "she's drunk and horny and clinging." Aleks laughed a real laugh, taking another drink  
"Well, Lindsay" he emphasized my name, "It's been a pleasure"   
"I'm glad to know you, Aleks" I emphasized his name as well.  
"Good to know we were introduced without formally introducing ourselves to each other" he said. I nodded and held up my drink  
"I'll drink to that" he clinked his glass against mine  
"True dat" he said back and we drank. 

I felt like a child drinking my water but in his eyes, maybe I was a little bit more


	8. Chapter 8

We discussed TSBY for a few more minutes before I complimented Aleks on his shirt, another band we knew that not many people do.

"I can't say I'm more of a metal head more than an alternative lover because I feel I love both genres the same. There's just always sometimes I feel there are more bands in a certain genre I like, it's all weird" he told me.  
"Hey, I completely understand. My taste for music is so different it makes me feel like a different person at times." Aleks nodded and smiled,   
"Are you sure you're only 18? I'm 21 and can't find this good conversation" I laughed,  
"We are just music fans. There are more of us out there, I promise"  
"Looks like I've been hanging out with the wrong crowd" he smiled.

I took another drink, unsure of how to keep the conversation going. I wanted to ask more about him and his life but I wasn't exactly sure how he felt. What if this was just a friendly conversation? He was getting drunk and babysitting and just happened to have found good company. What exactly did I want? He told me I was pretty but Laura was also all over him. I didn't know and again, I was over thinking everything.

"So," he started, "Are you from around here?" I shook my head  
"No, I'm too fat and white to have lived here" Aleks laughed out loud  
"Well, if you haven't gotten a look at me, I'm white as shit too and I love here"  
"Remember though, you are also Russian. Technically you weren't born here" Aleks nodded and took a drink while holing a smile.

"You're good Lindsay. Where are you from then?"  
"Suburbs outside of Detroit but not the fancy suburbs; my friends live a much fancier life than I"  
"I'm glad for that. Makes you a better person" I blushed,   
"How do you know that?"

Aleks swigged the rest of his drink, smiled a cocky smile and turned his body towards me  
"Honestly? It's not that hard to read people, especially here. Pretty girl like you sitting in this corner, drinking water on her phone; you could be on that dance floor, being drunk and clingy and horny with your friend and dragging some innocent boy around to get you whatever you want. But you're not"

I didn't try to hid my expressions. It went from me hurting for myself, then happy for the pretty comment, then the whole, same rank with Laura through my face through another loop. I couldn't really tell you how I looked or even felt.

"I'm sorry that I threw that all on you, I've been drinking" Aleks excused himself. He order the bartender over and bought something with a lot of vodka. He leaned closer to me,  
"Russian, still love vodka" and I couldn't help but laugh. Brittney came over to me, drunk, but nowhere near as bad as Laura.

"Hey, you ready to go? My date left and Laura is getting too bad" I looked at Aleks and he was watching us, I nodded.   
"Yeah, we can go, especially if Laura" Brittney messed with her purse as I slid off my stool.  
"Do you have a pen?" I whispered to her. She nodded and handed me a pen without looking at me. Aleks had his drink halfway gone while Brittney left to grab Laura. 

"You need any help?" he asked. I shook my head and leaned over to grab his napkin.  
"No, but thanks" I wrote down my number on his napkin,  
"Call me, text me, whatever, I'm sad this conversation has to end tonight" he smiled and grabbed the napkin.  
"Alright Lindsay, I'll talk to you later" I took one last drink and patted his shoulder,  
"Thanks for a good time. Tonight went a lot better than expected" he nodded and Brittney dragged Laura towards us  
"Oh god," I said to him, "It'll be a long night"  
"Good luck" he told me and smiled me off.

I grabbed Laura from Brittney,  
"Come on little one, let's get home"


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning I was beyond myself. Waking up a little past 11; remembering last night as a dream. Brittney and I help Laura into the house sometime after midnight and put her right to bed. Brittney told me goodnight and disappeared into her room. I fell asleep excited. Aleks had seemed to enjoy the night as much as I had. I hoped for good things. My phone was silent when I woke so I decided to shower. I went downstairs for lunch and right back up to the game room. Of course I was incredibly nervous about the whole Aleks thing. In my whole 18 years of life, no one has ever done this while my friend had it almost every night. I just couldn't believe even him wanting to be friends with me until it actually happened. I created a playlist of songs that wouldn't remind me of Aleks and lost myself inside a game about Star Trek. It was dark out by the time I came back to reality. I took out my headphones and heard Brittney and Laura giggling in the bathroom. 

"Probably getting ready" I sighed allowed.

I stretched out and checked my phone, nothing. I threw my phone on the ground and left the room, going into the studio. I grabbed a guitar off the wall and played a little. I didn't know songs off the top of my head but I knew chords, though over and over I'd play the same ones, I still enjoyed it and lost myself every time. Laura came in mid-tuning and told me they were going out. Not even inviting me. I didn't care, I was happy to be left alone though I felt sick about Aleks. He never said he would contact me. This whole thing was so sporadic I really had no idea who I was. I put the guitar back and grabbed my phone from the game room. My mother had called me but I was in no mood to talk to anyone. I went to my room, changed into comfy clothes, locked the door and crawled into bed, watching those YouTube videos that I knew would make my world better.


	10. Chapter 10

The next few weeks for me dragged slow as all hell. Laura and Brittney stopped going out every night after the first week and we started doing friend things again. During the day I would go shopping with them, go to the beach and do all those touristy things we teenagers do. Though at time it was fun, I walked around with that feeling of not belonging. Of feeling ugly and worthless as all these super cute guys eyed my friends, giving them so much attention I was pulled to the back. Video games and creating music became my sanctuary. 

Gloria still played old games with me and playing for Brittney as she sang was a beautiful thing. The balcony attached to my room was perfectly placed with a view of the city. At night the lights would glow like a tree on Christmas morning. I sat out most nights, writing of my struggles. 

Aleks was on my mind at night. When I finally hit that wave of sleep I was pulled away again, seeing his face from the club that night, his smile so sincere. I had such hope for this one. I always have hope and it never works. 

Gloria found me one night, silently crying over my notebook. She came up like a ninja, touching my shoulder and making me squeal.

"I'm so sorry Lindsay. I didn't mean to scare you" I'd hoped it was dark enough so she wouldn't see my tear stains. I whipped my eyes,  
"Oh Gloria, it's alright" she smiled sweetly.   
"What is it?" she asked. 

I hid my face behind my hair and stayed silent. The people in my life would normally just walk away, angry with me for not talking. But Gloria grabbed a chair and sat in front of me, taking my hand. 

"No need to answer, I'll be right here" 

I couldn't help myself as I fell from my chair, my knees on the ground and my head in her lap. I balled. 

"I can't do this anymore" I told her through spurts of tears.  
"Can't do what?"  
"Me" she rubbed my back and cooed me  
"Shhhh, Lindsay, it's okay" I shook my head against her.  
"No, no it's not. I'm so miserable here but I'd be even worse at home. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I look at myself in the mirror and want to cut everything I hate about myself off and be better. I just can't" 

I was hysterical. Never had I cried this bad before, especially in front of someone. She ran her fingers through my hair and lifted my face up.

"Lindsay, there is nothing wrong with you feeling this way. I wish you didn't because you are an amazing, beautiful young lady. You are here, taking care of your friends that you don't see love you more than you realize. I hear you write and sing, you're incredibly talented. There is so much more to life here than the way you look"

I had heard this speech before but it never worked. If I was so worth it, why hadn't someone told me before? Why hadn't someone loved me? I laid my head back in her lap and lookout at the skyline.

"Is is about someone?" Gloria asked me. I nodded against her.  
"Laura or Brittney?" I shook my head.  
"A boy?" I nodded slowly, tears forming in my eyes again.   
"Tell me about him. What happened?"

So I told her my story. She must have known something would happen after I told her because by the time I was done my tears were gone and I was sitting back in my chair, smiling.

"Give it sometime, he might be just as nervous as you are" I nodded and looked down at my hands.  
"It's been two weeks though. If he was really interested, don't you think he would have done something?" Gloria patter my hand,  
"If you two are so much alike, wouldn't you be nervous and wait?" she has an amazing point. I laughed a little and she smiled at me, patting my hands and getting up.  
"Get some sleep hun. I'll see you in the morning" she left me with my thoughts.

I looked out and sighed. Life was just too complicated.


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up the next day feeling new. I showered really quick and made my way back to the studio. 

"You wanna record a bit?" Brittney asked me. I nodded,  
"Yeah, I actually wrote this song a few days ago I'd really like for you to sing, if you don't mind" Brittney clapped her hands with excitement  
"Of course! Let me see it" I handed her my book and she read along. I grabbed an acoustic from the wall and sat on a stool next to her.  
"Can you hand me a stand? I'll show you how it goes" Brittney nodded and grabbed me a stand, placing my book in front of me. I wrote the chords I was using over the lyrics. I played the rhythm at first and told her how slow the start was:  
*There I was again tonight, forcing laughter faking smiles, same old tired lonely place. Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when I saw your face. All I can say is it was, enchanting to meet you"

"It starts this slow until the next chorus. I really want to add a full band but I can get the acoustic recorded first, have you sing with that and then I can add full band later" Brittney nodded again but still looked distracted. Her eyes followed the words over and over again.  
"Are you alright?" Brittney looked at me,  
"How did you write this?" I shrugged,  
"I don't know, it just came to me" I lied. 

Brittney put her hand on my shoulder,  
"Is this about that night you went out with us? I noticed you were talking to someone"

No matter how alike Laura and Brittney were, she always knew and cared how I felt. I just shrugged again, my cheeks red. She gave me a slight hug.   
"It's beautiful, just record all of it and I'll learn it from your recording"she left me alone to work.

I felt bad. The first verse was a shot at them, truly knowing how I felt about out social plans together. I was overthinking it all but I couldn't help it. I cared too much about how others felt about me and the things I did with and towards them. Brittney did tell me it was beautiful, and hugged me. Those were good signs. I went into the booth and recorded the song on acoustic first. I thought of messing with the full band things, but I still had no idea what I was exactly doing so I put the guitar back and set up the booth to record my voice and play the guitar I just recorded. My phone vibrated at my side and I ignored. I did a rough recording, the rest I'd have to do after the full band was recorded and I could edit it out. 

I took care of the equipment I was using and left the room to go to the kitchen. Laura and Brittney were eating lunch and I grabbed some water

"I heard you recorded today" Laura asked me with a mouth full of food. I nodded and took a drink, joining them at the table.  
"Are you hungry?" the chef asked me, I shook head. My phone vibrated again and I remembered my text from before. I popped so high out of my chair I left the floor.  
"Oh my god!" I screamed. Everyone gave me confused looks of disgust. Gloria stared at me with a curious smile.

"I'm sorry" I told them and ran out of the kitchen. But not before I nudged Gloria, she smiled at me. I ran to my room, slamming my door behind me. I jumped on my bed and buried my face in my pillow so they couldn't hear me scream. I turned on my back, grabbing my phone and smiling like an idiot. Aleks texted me. He texted me TWICE. I read the first message. 

*Hey Lindsay, its Aleks! Sorry it took my so long to contact you, I sort of lost your number :/. But anyway, I'm taking my step-brother and his friends to Pow. Wanna join?*

I re-read his second message

*Laura and Brittney are more than welcome to join! I know they love that club :)*

I squealed again and save his name. I got up and refused to look at myself in the mirror. I wasn't going to ruin this for myself. I skipped downstairs, trying not to smile. I sat back down at the table and took a drink of my water. 

"What the hell was that?" Laura asked. I excitedly tapped my fingers,  
"I gotta job at a shelter in Lansing!" I lied, "I have a super cool job while I got to school" the chef nodded approval, Gloria didn't believe me, Brittney smiled and Laura just looked confused.

"But, that whole reac""So guys," I cut her off,  
"You wanna go out tonight? I feel like celebrating!" my friends perked up. Laura held a winning smile.  
"You actually WANT to go out?" I nodded furiously  
"Yeah! We could go to Pow again. I really had a great time there" Laura cringed a bit, I know remembering Aleks  
"Yeah! I love that place!" Brittney said before Laura could spread disgust.

"Sweet!" I said rising from my seat,  
"We can go at 8 like before" they both nodded  
"Works for us" Laura said and I ran back to my room. I texted Aleks

*Hey! No Biggie! :) Laura and Brittney are game! Wanna meet around 8?*

It only took Aleks a few minutes to text back

*Sounds good to me! See you tonight :)*


	12. Chapter 12

The rest of the day went slower than a sloth climbing a tree. Every time I would find something new to occupy my time I'd look at the clock, realizing it'd only been a few minutes since I last checked. 

Once it grew closer to 8 my panic switched to what exactly I was going to wear. I knew I'd wanted to wear a band tee I knew he would know but merch was also so tight. I'd feel comfortable in my hoodie but he's already seen me in that. I sat on my bed and stared at me closet, almost crying from stress. Gloria walked in without my notice and closed the door.

"Are you going to need help for tonight?" she asked me. I looked at her with tears in my eyes.  
"I can't do this. The only thing I would feel comfortable in is the outfit he's already seen. I can't go if I don't feel good. I won't be able to compose myself" Gloria gave me sad eyes and sat next to me. She pulled me into a hug  
"Sweetheart, this boy obviously sees something in you that you don't see in yourself" 

I shook my head leaning into her. Gloria patted my shoulder but pushed me away softly, getting up off the bed and digging through my clothes. My tears stopped and I stared at her. The determination this woman had to made me feel better was endearing. Gloria grabbed the sweatshirt I had worn before, a Cartel band tee, a grey hat that matched the style of my colorful one from before and a dark pair of jeans. She threw the clothes at me as well as my black converse.

"Put these on. No matter how many times you wear something, it's your style. It's you clothes and obviously, he likes when you wear something like that." 

Before she left me to get changed, Gloria stood by the door,  
"Invest in more zip up hoodies, that'll make you feel better" and she shut the door.

I couldn't decide exactly how I was feeling. I looked at my clothes and smiled a bit. I washed my hair only to blow cry it, making my hair wavy. I put my shirt on and immediately put my hoodie over it, feeling the shirts cotton stick tight to my stomach. I laid my grey hat carefully on the back of my head, running my fingers through my hair to make my bangs fluff out. I threw my jeans on and my converse. Looked at the mirror for just a second to check my hair and never looked at my reflection again. I sprayed my favorite perfume on and found Laura and Brittney putting on their heels by the door.

"Ready?" Laura asked excitedly. I nodded with a smile.

They were already wearing their coats. Besides, I wasn't paying attention to them tonight.

For them, this was a night to find a man, I was already meeting mine.


	13. Chapter 13

Once we were inside Pow it didn't take me long to find Aleks. He was sitting on the bar in the same spot we met, the chair close to the wall empty. I smiled until I noticed his suit jacket and tie. Tight on his frame, he looked like a nervous teen at a wedding he didn't want to be, his tattoo showing as his sleeves fell when he took a drink. I crept closer and saw he was wearing jeans, which made me feel a little better. 

I had already lost my friends in the crowed and I spotted Aleks step-brother in the crowd with a friend I recognized from the last time. I took the long way behind him, taking deep breathes as I contemplated sitting down or taping his shoulder. The bartender caught my eye too soon

"Well hello darling!" she said to me, grabbing a napkin. Aleks turned around and smiled  
"Hey Lindsay!" I gave them both a nervous smile.  
"Hi guys" and I sat in my seat.   
"What can I get for you?" the bartender asked me, "the usual?" she joked. I smiled  
"Yes, water please" and she turned to get that.

"Cartel" Aleks mentioned, taking a drink. I turned my chair towards him  
"And?" he smiled  
"I like it" I smiled back, grabbing my drink immediately after she set it down. Aleks took a drink himself, still smiling in the cup.  
"What?" I asked him. He pointed to my hat  
"I like the grey hat. Are all of your "accessories" handmade?" I stretched my arms a bit,  
"Well, you know us scene kids, we always have to wear the same thing all the time" I made my voice sound a bit cocky. 

Aleks laughed,  
"You're good Lindsay" and in my mind I high fived myself.

"So Mr. Fashion Man, what's up with your get up?" I asked gesturing to his body. He fixed his suit jacket and pulled his tie from side to side.  
"I'm going for the whole, business casual look. I gotta look somewhat good today. I was meeting a pretty lady" I blushed  
"Obviously, you are the pretty one" I picked at my hoodie, "I looked like a hoodlum!" Aleks laughed and I followed suit. We were off to a great start.

"What have you been up to these last few weeks since I've seen you last?" Aleks asked me. I rolled my eyes  
"You don't even want to know. My life is the definition of doing nothing. Let's talk about you" I poked his arm. Aleks shrugged.  
"You'd be surprised how similar our lives are. Besides my friends and my step-brother, I live my life in my home" I nodded  
"I just live in home, with the maid, who's fucking sweet as hell"  
"You've gotta have some hobbies? You are too cool to not have cool hobbies" Aleks told me. I looked taken back.  
"Me? Cool? Okay, let's pretend that's a possibility" I laughed. Aleks pointed at my shirt. 

"If you are a scene kid, you know bands no one knows right?" I nodded, curious to where he was going with this. He pointed to himself  
"I know said band I've seen you wear that people don't know about, am I a scene kid?" I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders   
"I don't know" I was confused. Aleks smiled and held up his hand  
"Now stay with me. I am a scene kid, I love music more than anything in this world and from my love of that; I play bass. That is a hobby. You're a scene kid, do you play an instrument?" I nodded slowly, Aleks nodded along with me.  
"What do you play?"  
"Clarinet, piano, and good ole guitar" Aleks smiled,   
"And have you played guitar since the last time I've seen you?" I laughed and shook my head, taking a drink.  
"You are ridiculous Aleksandr. Yes, since the last time I've seen you my life has consisted of playing guitar, playing piano and writing. I finished at least four different games on a couple different consoles and then I slept"  
"Did you eat at all?" Aleks laughed taking a drink. I barely ate but I laughed with him.

"You play video games now?" he asked. I set my glass cup down with a thud, trying my best to make an offended face.  
"Now?! I've been playing my whole life son. Three brothers will do that to you"   
Aleks almost spit his drink he was laughing so hard  
"You are fucking adorable my friend" he wiped his face,  
"What games do you play? I'm actually quite the gamer myself" I tapped my fingers, pretending to think  
"How about you tell me what you play so I can agree and look cooler?" Aleks smiled  
"I play boy games, COD, Halo, LEGO games, stuff like that" I nodded,  
"Not a fan of COD, or Halo, but the LEGO games. I just played the Star Trek version the other day. I'm more of a campaign player than an online one"  
Aleks nodded  
"Solid, solid" I smiled at him.

Nerd talk at a club full of drunks and fucks. Aleks was perfect. I hadn't noticed our conversation had been so long, it felt like seconds in a world that didn't exist. 

Our conversation wasn't interrupted by my friends this time but Aleks' step-brother and friend obliged  
"Hey Aleks" the kid asked, putting his hand on Aleks' shoulder. Aleks jumped a bit but he knew the voice. He turned his chair.   
"What do you need Seamus?" his step-brother gestured his head towards his friend  
"Steven here wanted to meet your friend" I looked at Steven; he was starring at Seamus, his mouth opened.  
"Oh shut up Seamus! You wanted to torture your brother!" Seamus smacked his shoulder. I tried not to laugh. Aleks gave me a lazily look then looked at the teens

"Seamus, this is Lindsay. Lindsay, this..."  
"Oh" Seamus interrupted; "THIS is Lindsay" he exaggerated way too much. Maybe I was blessed not having this in high school. Aleks rolled his eyes and gave a heavy sigh  
"Yes Seamus and you are Seamus my annoying little brother and that is your friend Steven"

"Ze" Steven said, "ZeRoyalViking actually" Aleks rolled his eyes yet again but huffed a laugh  
"I'm not calling you by your gamer tag" Aleks looked around for a moment,  
"Wait, where's James?" Seamus and 'Ze' looked at each other knowingly and somehow Aleks knew too.  
"Where is he?" Seamus pointed to the other side of the club. Aleks ran his fingers through his hair, I like that shit.  
"What's her name?"  
"Hopefully not Brittney or Laura" i said aloud. Aleks smiled. Seamus just shook his head  
"I don't think she's named either of those" Aleks turns his back to them to finish his drink. He orders another and turns back

"So what do you guys need?" the kids looked at each other and shrugged in unison  
"Honestly, we're kind of bored" Seamus confessed. Aleks' drink came up and he took it sadly  
"I'm not done yet" he told them, taking a gulp. He looked at me and I smiled  
"At least it's not my friends too drunk to function ending the night"  
Seamus looked at me,  
"Oh no Ms. Lady, you guys can do what you want, we're just going to be here too" he winked at me. I tried my hardest not to laugh but it coughed up. Aleks laughed at me.  
"I'm sorry" I told them, wiping the napkin on my face. "I just couldn't help it"  
Seamus looked offended but Aleks and Steven seemed amused.

Our conversations dulled down to the three boys going back and forth with dialog you can only hear from boys. I sat patiently, drinking my water and laughing at the appropriate time. I checked my phone and almost fell off my stool when I noticed what time it was. Also from my lack of texts from either of my friends I hadn't seen in almost five hours. Steven had grabbed my arm to catch me; I pushed him away and steady myself

"Oh, thanks Steven but I'm alright. Just realized what time it is without hearing from my friends" I got to my feet and searched the crowd. I felt Aleks grab my hand  
"Here" he smiled and helped me on the edge of his stool. I blushed but found Laura in a heartbeat.  
"Thanks" I told him, stepping away.   
"I'll be right back"

I walked towards Laura, trying to catch my breath. Aleks had too much effect on my and I hated it.  
"Hey Laura" I grabbed her. She turned to me sort of angry but soon slouched back from her drunkenness and just looked confused.  
"Why are you smiling like that?" she slurred. I hadn't even noticed and that made me hate everything more.  
"Are you going okay?" I asked her, "have you seen Brittney?" she shook her head and went back to dancing with whomever. I walked to the bathrooms and called Brittney. Of course she wouldn't answer. Honestly, I was too worried about her. I had found Laura and she was the one that needed looking after. I went back to the bar and found more people, one of them being Brittney on the arms of a guy.

I smacked Seamus' shoulder  
"You told me James wasn't with a girl named Brittney or Laura" the kid grabbed his shoulder and I felt awkward, I hardly knew him, and I hit him  
"Sorry..." I whispered as I stood by Aleks. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him.  
"I found Brittney!" he told me excitedly. I smiled down at him, daring not to move. I liked this. 

Brittney patted my shoulder and introduced me to James. I'm so glad I assumed correctly. I narrowed my eyes at Brittney  
"Do you know what time it is young lady? I was worried sick" she laughed normally and that's when I noticed she hadn't been drinking. She noticed my realization and nodded very proudly. James was only 20 years old; friends mostly with Aleks though had become close with Seamus and Steven through video games and underage drinking. He was also going home with Brittney and she made sure I knew

"Okay, okay, I understand" I told her, pushing her away from my face.  
"Just don't tell him about the game room, he'll never leave" she winked at me and I cringed. 

James was cute, not as skinny as Aleks though I doubt anyone is, with a full beard and Latino face.  
"What am I going to tell your mother when you don't come home tonight?" Aleks teased him. James just laughed, full and loud that make me want to chuckle a bit.  
"Fuck off" he told Aleks.

"You know" Brittney started, her eyes glued one mine  
"Our friend Laura has a summer home that we are staying in and there are plenty of places for a sleep over. You 3 are more than welcome to stay if you'd like" 

I glared at her though a smile was pinched at the side of my mouth. Aleks looked at me and my smile pushed out.

"I hope you're not too drunk" I told him,  
"I've got something amazing to show you"


	14. Chapter 14

We dragged Laura out of the club and though she bitched and moaned by the time we made it into the limo she was passed out on Seamus' shoulder. 

"See kids, this is why underage drinking is bad" Aleks told us. His arm was on top of the seat, barely around my shoulders but I could feel his fingers mess with the material on my hoodie. 

Watching the guy's reaction to the mansion was entertaining. They ooo, and ahh'd, just like Brittney and I had when we first arrived. Seamus and Steven were punished to drag Laura to her room. Aleks and I follow them and helped them settle Laura, Brittney and James were gone. 

"Gross" I whispered as we left Laura. The three guys stared at the gigantic ceiling while counting the rooms; each one had their mouth slightly open.  
"You guys haven't even seen the best part" I told them. I was excited to finally have some nerd time not alone and have people to be excited with. 

They followed me down the hall to the magical room on the right. I walked in first and the children who had just found the chocolate factory lit up.

"Holy shit" Seamus yelled. Steven was silent as he ran towards the consoles to investigate.  
"Dude, this room literally has EVERYTHING" Steven told Seamus who he was soon joined by. Aleks and I wandered to the couch.  
"Shall we play something?" I asked him. Steven squeaked and Seamus high fived him. Aleks looked at me with a tired gaze.  
"I don't think game play is in my tonight" Seamus jumped at the seat next to him.  
"Steven and I dibs the Xbox, we've got a new game to try" Steven sat on the other side of me, the Xbox coming to life. I quickly got up  
"Come on Aleks, let's get you to bed" he smiled at me and followed suit.   
We left Seamus and Steven in their separate spots, already yelling about something I really couldn't care about at the moment.

"We've got a couple rooms you could sleep in, one of them being Laura's parents room and I don't think you'll really want that" Aleks smiled at me and shook his head  
"I'd prefer not" I nodded  
"I know. There is my room though I don't want to pressure you into sleeping with me because that's not fair" Aleks laughed.   
"I'd honestly prefer it. I'd want to wake up to something I recognize" I gave him a thumbs up   
"Well alright then, I'll show you to my room" he followed behind me. 

It was almost impossible for me to stop shaking. Of course I've shared a bed with a guy before but one I was interested in and he possibly is interested in me was a WHOLE other story. 

I opened my door and of course my shit was absolutely everywhere  
"Welcome to my room that normally would have nothing in it but because I've got a friend in here my clothes and shit are everywhere" I smiled; he smiled back at me with his drunken daze  
"I'll clean off my bed for you, you look exhausted" Aleks closed my door and leaned against it while I cleaned a bit. 

The silence was awkward for me and so was his staring. I didn't really know what to do so once I finished so I just gestured silently. Aleks nodded and took off his jacket as well as his tie, laying them carefully on my dresser.  
"Do you mind?" he asked me, pulling his shirt up. I blushed and shook my head. He responded with a grin and took his shirt off. I stared into his eyes,   
"You want basketball shorts or something?" I tried to sound joking but I was shaky and nervous, so nothing was coming out the way I wanted. Aleks shrugged his shoulders  
"If you could spare some" 

I turned my back to him and took a deep breath, reaching into my suitcase. I threw the shorts at him  
"Don't just drop your pants here, the bathrooms over there" Aleks childishly stuck his tongue out and went into the bathroom. 

I changed into shorts and opened up the doors to the balcony. I looked down at myself, my mind racing through so much joy and nerve, hating on myself with endless possibilities of bad endings and good. I've never been in a situation like this before and I had no idea what to do. I couldn't help feeling fat and worthless. 

"What are you doing?" Aleks asked me. I walked out onto the balcony and leaned against the railing, I needed the air. Aleks came up next to me; he put his hand on my shoulder.   
"Are you alright?" I looked at him and couldn't help but be honest.  
"I'm really sorry Aleks" I turned to him,

"I know this is an early thing but I just can't do this. I've never been in this situation where I see someone, make a connection with them and then they follow through. I don't know what this all means and I can't help but over think. There is so much you don't know about me that even my friends that have known me my entire life can't handle. You're a cool kid and you don't need some sad, broken girl who has nothing." 

I didn't know I was crying until Aleks grabbed my shoulder and pulled me against his chest.  
"Shh" he cooed, running his fingers through my hair.  
"Are you sure you're not the drunken one?" he teased. I shook my head into his bare chest, realizing how good he smelled. He pushed on my side.  
"Let's get you to bed, its late, we can talk in the morning" 

I hung my head and walked to my bed, sitting at its edge. I felt the pressure of Aleks' body on the bed and I fiddled with my hoodies, staring at the bulge of my stomach. I felt his breath on my neck before his warm hand rested on mine.  
"Come on, everything will be okay" he whispered. He lightly kissed my neck and my body immediately jolted. The sensation was one I had never felt before. I turned to look at him  
"I can't, get comfortable" his lips curled a bit and he got up, turning on the lamp next to the bed. He walked around the bed to stand in front of me; his small frame met my eyes. Aleks knelt down in front of me

"We are on in the same Lindsay" he started, "Broken and lost, trying to find that one thing that makes us special or unique. Searching for a way to love ourselves through a world that taught us only how to love others. I see how much you despise yourself, not your personality, but how you look"   
I looked down at my hands, unable to take how real I let everything get. 

"You look at me with this want but you're afraid to go for it because you feel like you're not worth it" he pulled my chin up to meet his eyes,  
"If you weren't worth it Lindsay, I wouldn't be here" and with that, I collapsed in his arms.

What was this? We had known each other for a few weeks, sat and talked twice really and now, this?

"I was gonna save that speech till morning" he chuckled against me. I looked up at him and smiled  
"Thank you" he nodded and helped me to my feet.  
"Let's get to bed, I'm exhausted" Aleks walked back to his side and turned off the lamp. 

I quickly took off my hoodie and slid under the covers. I stayed stricken to my side until Aleks flopped down close to me.  
"One thing you need to know about me, I'm a cuddler" he told me, his arms opened wide with a childish grin stuck to his face. I rolled myself into Aleks' body, we both laughed. I hid my face in his neck, his collar bone made a perfect resting place for my chin. He wrapped an arm around the top of my waist and I shivered to his touch  
"You are beautiful" he told me. 

I put my hand on his chest and curled into him. He was beautiful too; in all the right ways.


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning I woke up to Aleks' side cold. I tucked my comforter around me and sat up; Aleks looked at me from his position in front of the mirror.  
"Good morning" he smiled. I smiled back; he still had his shirt off.   
"Did you sleep okay?" I asked without stuttering. In my mind I have myself a high five. He nodded and stretched a bit.   
"I'm pretty sure Seamus and Steven are still up. I honestly wouldn't be surprised" 

I grabbed my phone from the table by the bed. It was already past 10am and I had a text from Brittney  
*Very good :)*

I puked in my mouth a bit. I showed Aleks the text, he did the same.  
"Gross" he mumbled and I nodded. 

Aleks went into the bathroom and I got up, putting my hoodie back on. It was a warm morning outside but the air conditioning in my room made it chilly, just how I liked it. Aleks and I switched rooms. I used the bathroom and did what I could to my hair to make it look somewhat presentable. I pulled on my eye lids, they still hung so heavy. I splashed water on my face,   
"Everything went very well" I whispered to myself. Aleks had his plan white t-shirt back on with his skinny jeans. He lay on his of the bed with his phone. He looked up when I opened the door, he patted my spot  
"Come join me" he smiled. I ran my fingers through my hair

"Uh, if you're hungry or anything the chef should be here. Gloria's here as well, she's probably met Seamus and Steven already if not walked in on them asleep" Aleks slumped on the bed  
I probably should check on them"  
I leaned against the door frame,  
"Yeah, that might be a good idea"   
Aleks groaned,  
"But I don't wanna" 

There was a knock on the door that scared us both. I answered it; Gloria stood there, her hands on her hips.   
"It would have been nice to know that boys would be here" she tried her best to be motherly but I started smiling and she couldn't help it. 

The springs in the bed moved and Gloria quickly slide by me  
"Oh, who is this?" she asked. Aleks looked at me.  
"Uh, Gloria, this is Aleks. Aleks, this is Gloria, the coolest maid/friend you could ever have" Gloria put her hand on her heart and looked at me  
"That's the sweetest" she said, then looked right at Aleks again. He stood up and stuck out his hand,  
"It's nice to meet you Gloria" she took his hand and smiled  
"Aleks, it is VERY nice to meet you" I literally face palmed myself.

"I'm guessing you met my step-brother and step-brother's friend" Aleks asked he. He awkwardly put his hands in his pockets and she nodded  
"Fast asleep in the play room and very heavy sleepers; they never heard me come in"   
Aleks nodded,  
"They must have been up all night. I can do get them" Gloria shook her head and patted his shoulder  
"Oh goodness no, you boys are welcome here. Any friends of Lindsay's are a boss of mine, so to speak"   
Aleks smiled  
"Thank you, so much" 

Gloria pretended to be flustered  
"Oh, such a nice boy you are! Bobby will be making brunch here in a few minutes. Have to boys up by 11 and we can get some food in those skinny bones" she turned to me and winked.  
"You might want to go check on Laura, she had a fun night. And don't go check on Brittney. You don't want to know" I warned her.   
She nodded and put a hand to my cheek. She didn't say anything and she didn't need to. I smiled, feeling my cheeks get hot. She left and my view was Aleks.

"She seems nice" he said. I chuckled.  
"Yeah, she's pretty amazing"  
"What do we do now? I don't want to bother the boys until I absolutely have to. We've got like 40 minutes until brunch" Aleks dragged on. I walked to my stuff and grabbed my book.  
"I haven't showed you the best part of the house yet" I told him, grabbing his hand. 

I led him down the hallway, past all other rooms to the door directly facing us.   
"Oooo, what is it?" he asked, pushing the hand I held against me. I smiled and opened the door to the studio. Aleks looked more wonder-struck here than he did at the game room.   
"See? I told you this was the best part of the house" I bragged. 

Aleks stared up at the ceiling, paying special attention to the records. He saw intsturments and slide a few inches from them  
"I'm so afraid to touch them" he gasped out. I showed him the wall of bass  
"You said you play bass right?" Aleks pretended to faint against me.  
"Oh my lord, I can't handle this" 

I wrapped my arms around his tiny waist and walked him over to the stool that sat in front of the sound board.  
"I recorded in this booth yesterday. It's badass" I told him. He held his fingers over the board  
"You wanna play with it?" I asked him. He smiled at me and it made me smile. I showed him a few simple things though he knew a good majority of the levers that turned bass up, the treble up, etc. etc. 

I walked into the booth and put the headphones on  
"Okay, sing something" he told me in the mic. I shook my head  
"I just fuckin woke up. I can't sing this early in the morning" Aleks laughed at me  
"Just do something!"   
I sighed loudly into the microphone,   
"Good?"  
He played it back, messing with the treble of my voice.  
"It's a horrible start but it'll work" he let out a heavy breath. I stuck my tongue out.  
"If you can do better, you come in here and sing" Aleks smacked his thighs  
"You know what? I CAN do it better" he took his pair of headphones off. 

We traded positions  
"Good, I can do the sound board better than you" I yelled into the mic.  
Aleks started sing talking. Not rapping, but he talked through his words be adding weird melodies  
"Hello world. I am here, telling you of me. I am Aleks; the girl on the board is Lindsay. We met awkwardly one night at a bar in a club" I stopped him.   
"Aleks, Aleks, what the actual fuck?" he laughed   
"Hey, at least I'm trying" he teased. I laughed at him   
"Wow my friend, wow" Aleks went back to singing-talking about us meeting and Seamus being his step-brother and liking video games and playing video games with James.

"Speaking of James" he stopped himself, "I wonder how he's doing" I turned the board off.   
"Let's go join the land of the living" I told him. Aleks took the headphones off and exited the booth. 

Aleks and I walked into the game room. Seamus and Steven were fast asleep on either side of the couch.   
"Aleks, they are so cute" I said, grabbing onto his arm. He looked down at me  
"I'm gonna jump on Seamus" he moved away from me and stood behind the couch, falling slowly from the back of the couch onto Seamus' back  
"Brother!" he screamed. Steven rolled further into the cushions  
"No" he groaned.  
Seamus tossed and turned, trying to throw Aleks off  
"Get the fuck off of me" he whined. Aleks rubbed Seamus' curls and kissed his head  
"Up and at em boys, we gotta get James up and brunch is being made for us"  
Seamus fell onto the floor, Aleks still attached to him.  
"Leave" he groaned. Aleks went limp and sighed  
"Ugh, you shouldn't have stayed up all night" Aleks groaned in the same matter. He got up and joined me by the door.  
"You guys have 10 minutes, wake up or no food for you. Made by a chef; an actual chef" Aleks pushed me out the door and closed it.

"We don't really have to get James" I told him, "we can just wait downstairs for them. Gloria would have woken them anyway" Aleks nodded.  
"I know, but James is the "cool" one to them. I'd hoped it would motivate them" I nodded,  
"I never thought to treat teenage boys like teenage girls"   
Aleks connected his forehead with mine and tapped my nose with his finger  
"Exactly" he smiled.  
I loved having his face so close to mine.

Gloria clearing her throat ruined our adorable moment  
"Chef Bobby started cooking a few minutes ago and has some fresh juice ready if you two aren't too busy to keep him company"  
I hid my face in Aleks shoulder. He chuckled nervously against me.  
"No, we'll be down in a minute" he told her. I heard her footsteps descend.  
"Judgement man" I whispered in his shoulder. He laughed.   
"Come on, I'm hungry"

We went downstairs and found Laura at the table. The blinds closed and she had a glass of water in front of her. I carefully sat at the chair across from her.  
"Good morning" I whispered. She gave me a sickened look.  
"Hi" she groaned.  
"Did you have a goodnight?" I asked. She watched Aleks pull the chair next to me out and sit down  
"Who are you? You look a little familiar" I looked at Aleks, he smiled.  
"I'm Aleks. I met you a few weeks ago. I'm Lindsay's friend" Laura looked at me, her mouth hung open a bit.  
"If you're her friend, why are you here so early?" I narrowed my eyes at her  
"It's almost 11"  
"I just stayed the night. It's not a big deal" Aleks defended. Laura looked happily surprised, I looked at Aleks.

"Have you seen Brittney?" she asked me. Aleks met my eyes and I turned my attention to Laura.  
"Yeah, she met a kid, they should be down soon" Laura nodded and took a drink, rubbing her temples.   
"Welp, I didn't bring a guy home but I had a great night. How was yours?" I looked at Aleks.   
"I had a really good time, I don't know about him though" Aleks shrugged  
"I'd say late last night and the early morning was my favorite" he smiled. Laura nodded. 

Seamus and Steven came into the kitchen, Seamus glared at Laura  
"Surprised to see you alive" he told her. I slightly laughed. Laura gave them her snobby look.  
"Who the hell are you?" she asked. Aleks stood up and stood between the kids  
"This is my step-brother, Seamus and his friend Steven. The kid Brittney brought home is our friend James. We stayed her last night" he patted their shoulders.  
"These guys helped you into bed last night"  
Laura got up with disgust  
"What?" she looked at me, "You let strangers into my house and my room?" I shrugged,  
"I supervised them. You were fine, these kids are our age. Anyway, they were too busy playing video games last night to care"

"Plus you were pretty gone" Brittney said from the doorway.   
James trailed behind her as she took a seat at the table, James obediently next to her.   
I completely forgot Chef Bobby was even there until he announced the food was done. I couldn't even smell the food cooking I was so focused on Aleks and our situation I couldn't think of anything else. We all sat to eat, the only conversation happening was between Steven and Seamus, talking about the game they played last night, I was never a morning person. I didn't eat breakfast. I pushed my food around my plate. Every so often Aleks would put his hand on my leg, I'd looked at him, he'd give me his sad eyes and I'd ignore them

"I'm done" I announced, pushing my plate away and getting up. I heard another chair move and feet follow me to the front lawn.

"What's wrong?" Aleks asked me. I shook my head  
"Just years of awful things" I told him.  
"Now that Laura knows you're not interested in my and last night was just a friendship sleepover either she'll try everything she can for you if you stay for the day or not stop talking about what little she actually knows about you and I'm just not ready for that. You are my friend. Mine. And she's a butthead"

Aleks laughed, I glared at him.   
"I'm sorry, but butthead? Seriously?"   
I threw my hands dramatically in the air  
"Whatever, I don't care, I'm just telling you what to expect"   
Aleks sighed and grabbed onto me. I would never say no to an Aleks hug

"Oh my darling Lindsay; I'd hate to live inside your head" I nodded my head against his chest  
"It's stupid, don't go near it"

Aleks grabbed onto my shoulders and placed his forehead on mine  
"Is this like a thing?" I asked him, pointing to our heads. Aleks smiled and kissed my nose  
"I like you Lindsay. You make me smile, you make me laugh. You are broken in all the right ways" I gave him a curious look,  
"Thank....you?" he smiled and shifted his body a bit, taking my face into his hands

"Not knowing exactly how special and beautiful you are is much more of an advantage than you realize. It keeps you humble, it keeps you safe. It makes you an amazing individual, with a heart of gold and more love than you know what to do with. You exist solely for others because being alone with your mind for company will destroy you. Lindsay, you don't being who you are will get you what you want in your life. Living your dream, falling in love.." he stopped and I couldn't help commenting  
"Have you practiced that monologue before?" Aleks erupted in giggles, pulling away from me.

"Oh Lindsay, don't you remember our conversation from last night? You should, you said it" I shrugged, staring into his warm brown eyes.  
"There's a lot you don't know about me" he said, "I just described myself, I don't know you THAT well" he smiled. I smiled back at him  
"Everyone in my life; I've met a few girls as broken as I was but never a guy"  
Aleks flopped his arms to his sides  
"Welcome to California where an adopted Russian lives in a place he doesn't belong" my face soften to sympathy and Aleks blushed.  
"Don't give me that. I don't tell people how sad my life is for that exact reason" 

I held out my arms like a child  
"Are you saying a guy I actually like, likes me back?" Aleks grabbed my hands and roughly pulled me against him  
"What a better way to learn who we are by learning together?" he wiggled his eyebrows. I spit out laughing so hard.   
"Oh my god, that is super creepy and super adorable all at the same time"  
Aleks wrapped me into a hug.  
"Would you like to go on a date with me?" a sentence has never made me so happy in my entire life than those that Aleks spoke to me. I looked up at him

"I'd love to. Just make sure when we go back inside, you tell everyone that, especially my friends, okay?"


	16. Chapter 16

That day our date was him buying pizza and playing video games until our eyes burned. It was the greatest date I could have ever hoped for. It began the story book summer romance. Each day was spent together, beach days, mall days, scenic days, Skype dates with my family and every day in between. This summer had only given me one thing; Michigan was never in my future. 

One night at Aleks', he and his friends, including Seamus, Steven and James, were playing intense games online. They each had a small table to themselves, screaming at each other and the other players, giggling and killing. It was very entertaining for me and I never minded sitting back and watching. 

Aleks was on the floor in front of me; my hands rustled his hair as he played.  
"Dude, what the fuck?" he screamed, a bomb exploding in front of him. His character's body slouched witin itself, trapped in a corner in a room. Eddie giggled uncontrollably. I considered Aleks and Eddie two halves of a whole. No matter how much these two fought and argued, their similarities outshined everything wrong. Aleks slouched back into me

"I'm sure Eddie didn't mean it" I told him, kissing his forehead. Kevin soon snipped Eddie from a bush  
"Ah!" he yelled, Eddie dramatically fell to the floor.  
"Got your back" Kevin told Aleks, they high-fived. 

I smiled; these boys were the greatest things that could have ever happened to me. They were all so chill and kind and so much more respectful than the guys I'd known back home. I never wanted to leave them.

"Hey Aleks" I whispered to him. He grabbed my arms and wrapped them around his neck  
"Yes?" he asked, kissing my hand.   
"When you guys are done, I really need to talk to you" he gave me a look of concern. I smiled,  
"It's all good, I just really need your opinion" Aleks smiled and patted my hand, sitting back up to his computer.  
"Last round for now, I need a break" he told the guys. 

This round only felt like seconds as my stomach churned with the idea of staying. What if Aleks was only planning a summer together? We had been fixing each other these last few months, what if he's fixed? I know parts of me are better but being with him is what makes them better. The only person I've told this all to is Gloria. She had told me to ask him and smiled at me as she left. Hopefully she saw something I couldn't. Aleks got up and stretched  
"Drinks?" the guys shot up and went for the kitchen. Aleks grabbed my waist.   
"Come on, we can go outside" he led me to his back door. 

Aleks' residence was a small house on the other side of town. He lived with Kevin, Eddie and James. It was a small community, I would never walk it alone but Aleks would always tell me I'd never have to. His backyard was the size of my room in Laura's mansion. The guys had placed a few lawn chairs with empty cans of pop and beer bottles surrounding the small porch. We sat on the steps, my bare feet cool in the grass.

"What's going on?" Aleks asked. His body was turned fully to mine, his back against the railing. I smiled slightly.   
"I'm going home in a few weeks" Aleks nodded and looked at his wrist  
"Whoa, it's almost that time already?!" he joked. I laughed.  
"I hate having to be serious" Aleks leaned closer to me and shook my shoulder  
"Who says we have to be serious?" he smiled. I looked at him and never could I keep a frown when I saw him smile  
"Life says we have to be serious. Me going home and going to college says we have to be serious. Me not wanting to go home says" I stopped.

Tears were coming to my eyes and I needed to stop them. I wasn't afraid to cry. Aleks was the only one besides my mirror that has seen me cry so many times. But this wasn't about me anymore, it was about us, and he could want different from what I wanted. I took a deep breath.

"I will not cry" I told him, "You've seen me cry too many times and you have friends over" I laughed to myself. Aleks gave me a comforting smile  
"I don't want you to leave" he whispered. I looked him square in the eye, unable to stop the relief that flushed through my eyes. Aleks' smile faded a bit.   
"You've been worries about this haven't you?" that was the worst thing, being with someone just like you. They knew how to read you. I lowered my head, nodding slowly. The back door opened

"You ready for more?" Eddie asked. Aleks touched my shoulder.  
"Do you want to talk?" he asked. I shook my head.   
"We can talk later. I don't have anything else to say anyway" Aleks put his lips to my ear  
"I love you" he whispered, kissing my neck. 

I shivered from the kiss and the words. In almost three months I made an incredible guy love me. He got up and walked back inside. I lay on the porch, staring at the sky. Aleks loved me. He loved me and I loved him.

"Well alright" I sighed to myself, smiling, "That answers my doubt" I got up and walked back inside. 

The guys had started a whole new game, playing some Roleplay thing where they chose a job and just dicked around. It was more entertaining than it sounded. Aleks gave me a quick glance and a smile before returning to his game. I went back to my spot behind him, hiding my face in his hair. He felt my smile against his head and shivered

"Stop trying to let the enemy win" he yelled. Eddie giggled and Kevin yelled "Huzzah!" 

I hadn't known exactly what I wanted from Aleks. His confirmation of our relationship was just what I needed. Now we had to figure out the hard part.

I called my mom a few days later. Our days were numbered and it would be better sooner rather than later. Gloria waiting on my bed as I paced the room  
"Mom, you knew when I came out here I wanted to figure out my future. I found it, here. I can't go back. Maybe I can go to college here"  
"I will not have my daughter being 3000 miles away from me"  
"But I have Gloria! She's like a mom"  
"I just, I don't know. Is there any way you can come home and we can have this conversation in person?" I looked at Gloria and sighed, my mom was right.  
"I can mom, and I will. You have a point" she sighed as well.   
"It's not a no but I'd hate to think you'd be so far away from me" I heard her sniff and I felt guilty as hell  
"I'll let you know when our flight home is. I love you mom"  
"I love you too baby, have a good day" she hiccuped.   
"Bye" I hung up. Gloria offered me a hug.  
"Everything will work out" she told me. I nodded to her  
"I know, I just feel guilty"  
"You're growing up honey, you shouldn't feel guilty"

I told Aleks my mom's reaction

"How about I go home with you? Just for a few weeks. I can meet your family; talk with them about moving out here. Or, we could move there"   
I silently gasped for breath as I rolled in my in his bed. We were actually planning a future. I never thought this would happen to me. I wanted to make the sacrifice, being the good person was what I did. Now Aleks was willing to sacrifice for me. I just couldn't believe it. Aleks rolled onto his stomach and looked at me from his pillow

"What do you think?" he asked me. I smiled at him.  
"You are too good to me" I told him. Aleks leaned over and kissed my nose. I giggled like a child.  
"To be honest, it would be pretty cool to have you go home with me. I want to introduce you to every person I've ever met"

Aleks laughed and I couldn't stop myself from smiling, no matter how serious I wanted to be.  
"I'm serious though" I told him. He moved closer to me and put his arm around my waist  
"Then to Michigan it is. We will figure everything out, don't you worry about it"


	17. Chapter 17

Brittney said goodbye to James with no thought of regret or sadness, he did the same. Her "summer romance" was over. On our way to pick up Aleks for our flight Laura graveled about her summer wasted.

"It's just not fair" she started, "you two had the whole, summer romance thing and all I had was meaningless one night stands. I mean, obviously they were great and I did get a lot of guys numbers and stuff but, you know, summer is romantic"   
"Maybe you should have given one of those one night stands a call back something would have happened for you" Brittney snarled. I smiled at them.

It was easier to be with them finally having someone of my own. Their escapades were a lot easier to deal with now that I didn't feel like shit not having some for myself. 

Aleks was waiting outside for us, suitcases at his feet, Kevin and Eddie on the sidewalk. The guys loaded Aleks' things in the limos trunk and began their goodbyes. Eddie gave me a tight hug

"I'm going to miss you Lindsay. Aleks has a good one here. Make sure you remind him of that" I smiled, blushing.  
"Thanks Eddie, I'm gonna miss you too."  
Kevin gave me a hug, "Take care"  
I smiled at him  
"You too Kevin"

I got in the limo and watched the guys group hug, mumbling words I couldn't understand.  
"They are so weird" I laughed, Laura nudged my arm  
"They are super cute, why have I not met them?" Brittney gave her the same confused look I did  
"Laura, they've been over countless times" I told her. 

Brittney clapped her hands together  
"But you all were in the game room! That's why she doesn't remember"   
"Or alcohol poisoning, that could be it too" I mentioned.  
Brittney and I laughed, Laura shrugged in he seat.   
"I had a good summer" she pouted. I patted her shoulder  
"And that's all that matters" I smiled; she stuck her tongue out at me. 

Aleks got in and I immediately wrapped my arms around his arm  
"Hello" I told him, "you ready?" he smiled and kissed my forehead.  
"Nervous, but ready"

My family was at the airport; my whole family. Aleks held my hand as we walked out of the terminal  
"Oh god" I told him, "I should have known everyone would be here" Aleks squeezed my hand  
"I don't know who they are" he whispered. I pointed to my mother, her hands on her mouth, tears in her eyes.  
"Oh" Aleks said.

My mother grabbed me as soon as she could. I hung onto Aleks' hand\  
"Oh, Lindsay" she cried, hugging me tighter. I hugged her back but pulled away  
"Hi mom, this is Aleks" I introduced. Aleks smiled and waved the hand I had been holding.   
"Hi Lindsay's mom" he said shyly. It was precious. My mother smiled at him  
"It's nice to meet you in person Aleks. You both look so different from Skype"  
I looked at him and we smiled. 

My niece was the next person in my arms. She ran to me and grabbed my legs, shyly hiding her face from Aleks. I picked her up and she buried her face in my shoulder.   
"Aubrey, I have a very special person for you to meet" I nudged her with my arm. She peered her face out slightly, a small smile on her lips.  
"This is Aleks, can you say hi?" Aleks dipped his head low to meet her eyes  
"Hi, I'm Aunt Linny's boyfriend Aleks. It's so nice to meet you Aubrey" she ducked her head back in my shoulder.  
"What a shy one you are" I tickled her, she giggled. 

My older sister Nicole grabbed a hug from me and took her daughter with her. One by one I hugged and introduced Aleks to my cousins and my aunt and uncle, my little sister Sara and a few really good friends I had outside of Brittney and Laura. Their parents were there, picking them up with fancy things and limos. I said goodbye to them both, thanking Laura for everything. 

"I'll see you guys on Monday" I told them, they both laughed. Laura hugged us at the same time.  
"Can't go more than a few days without you fools" she told us, "I love you guys"  
"And we love you" I told her.

At home a party was starting. My comfortable little house in the small town with a backyard larger than the house itself.  
"What a nice establishment this is" Aleks told me, putting his bags in my room. I smiled at him  
"This feels so wonderful, having you here, in my home. It's incredible" Aleks wrinkled his nose at me and grabbed my waist.

"I love you" he told me and planted a kiss on my lips.

This was too much of a fairytale for me. Every time we kissed felt like the very first time.


End file.
